~The story of the Kool Aid pickle began in the mid 1930's in a small shantytown in central Massachusetts. The town was called Dracut. An old lady and her husband lived in one of the many rundown shanties that lined the many nameless streets and lanes. The lady and her husband were known to the locals as Phyllis and Xavier. Their house was known to all the local kids as Junky House! Phyllis and Xavier did not have a lot of money and lived off of rice, bread and pickles because these items were so cheap, and Phyllis could get the outdated pickles for free from the local market called Demoulas. Phyllis would get as many jars of pickles as she could and store them for the rough Central Mass. winters. She was handy in the kitchen and could turn a jar of pickles, some rice, and bread into a feast fit for a king. She would add spices and other ingredients to make even the fussiest eater smile with delight! Well one day, as the story goes, Phyllis took a jar of pickles down from the shelf, and drained them in the kitchen sink to make Pickle lasagna. I know it sounds gross, but people who knew her back then swore it was the best meal they ever had. Anyway, back to the story.... as Phyllis was draining her pickles in the sink, Xavier called her to their basement...it had flooded again. The Merrimack River had overflowed again and their basement was quickly filling up. As the pickles were sitting in the sink, a few of the local children were driving buy on their unicycles (they could only afford one wheeled bikes...two wheeled bikes were for the rich kids) thinking up ways to torment Phyllis and Xavier. All the local kids made up stories that Phyllis and Xavier were witches, and over time the stories became accepted as fact...remember if you say something loud enough and long enough some people will begin to believe it is true. These kids were riding their unicycles carrying balloons filled with Fruit Smack (it was called Fruit Smack before it was called Kool Aid). They were planning on knocking on Phyllis and Xavier's door, and when they opened the door...WHAM...they were gonna smack them with Fruit Smack balloons! One of the boys, known as Earl, knocked on the door..... BANG BANG BANG... no answer. Again.... BANG! BANG! BANG! Nothing, no answer. Phyllis and Xavier were in the basement trying to get the water out before it destroyed their collection of Christmas ornaments that they found each year on discarded Christmas trees. Meanwhile, Earl was determined to carry out his vicious prank on the so called witches of Dracut.
After a few more attempts banging on the door, Earl and his friends Joe and Brian were fuming. They had wasted over two hours filling balloons with Fruit Smack. Earl had a temper, and as they stepped off the broken down porch of Junky House, he threw his bucket of balloons at the window. The window was open! The bucket got caught on the sill, and the Fruit Smack balloons, careened into the kitchen sink, exploding all over the pickles that were waiting to be baked into pickle lasagna. The boys drove off with with their heads down.
Five hours later, Phyllis and Xavier came up from their basement exhausted. They were too tired to eat and went straight to bed. The pickle lasagna would have to wait until tomorrow. The next morning Phyllis woke up to a horror scene in the kitchen. Her pickles were all red. She was dumbfounded as to what could have happened to her pickles. She pulled the drain from the sink, and all the red juice disappeared. Curious, she took a bite from one of them. The flavor danced on her tongue! It was the most incredible taste she had ever come across. The pickles were not ruined..... they were delicious. Xavier went to work that morning with his lunch packed neatly in his lunch pail. He was excited to go to his job at Yangs Chicken Farm. It was his job to clean up the chicken houses. He hated the job. Today, he was smiling and had an extra kick in his step... he knew he was having one of those delicious pickles that his wife found in the sink for lunch! When it was lunch time, he sat down and reached in to taste his well anticipated lunch. Just as he was about to bite into the heavenly pickle, farmer Yang came by and asked what in the world was he about to eat. Xavier told him the story of finding red fruit flavored pickles in his kitchen sink. He gave farmer Yang a bite. Farmer Yang's eyes bulged! He was overcome with joy. He told Xavier he would give him a dollar for one of the pickles. A dollar in 1933 was a whole lot of money! Xavier rushed home to get one more pickle to bring to farmer Yang.
As he walked through the nameless lanes of the rundown town of Dracut, Xavier imagined what he would do with the dollar! As he approached Junky House, he noticed a young couple and a young boy on his front porch. He walked up to them and asked if he could help them. The couple introduced themselves as Helen and Russy, and their son Earl. Phyllis came outside on the porch at this time. She had been afraid to answer the door without Xavier at home due to the many pranks over the years. Helen then told the old couple that their son came over to apologize for what he had done the day before. They found out about the prank when all their Fruit Smack was missing from the cabinet. Upon a loud and frightening interrogation from his father, he had confessed to his father Russy about the prank. He apologized...it hardly sounded sincere. Phyllis asked him what was in the balloons. He told them the truth about the Fruit Smack. Phyllis told the family that all was forgiven and she wished them well. Xavier told Phyllis about the dollar which awaited them if he brought farmer Yang a pickle. She quickly grabbed the smallest pickle in the sink due to the fact that she did not like farmer Yang. He fled back to Yang Farms, and excitedly gave the pickle to the farmer. Farmer Yang handed over the dollar, and gobbled it down greedily.
At the end of his day at Yang Farms, Xavier walked home like a rich man. He had not held a whole dollar in his hand in years. When he walked in Junky House, he greeted Phyllis with a smile and a hug. The dollar was laid out in the palm of his hand for all the world to see. Phyllis, without so much as a thank you, grabbed the crisp clean dollar bill, and ran out of the house. Where was she going? Thirty minutes later she returned with more than 25 packets of Fruit
Smack. She walked down to Demoulas Market and climbed into the dumpster and retrieved more than 20 jars of outdated pickle! She had an idea!
Six months later every juke joint and local market was now carrying Phyllis and Xavier's Happy Pickles! They became thousandaires (not quite millionaires). Phyllis and Xavier left the dreary shanty town of Dracut for the big and shiny city of Cambridge and lived like a king a queen for the rest of their lives. The recipe was lost when Phyllis and Xavier passed away many years later. Even though the small company died, when they died, the desire for Kool Aid pickles is alive and well in Dracut. It was many years later that someone discovered by accident that Phyllis and Xavier were using Kool Aid to create their heavenly treats. Now Kool Aid pickles are a delight for kids all across Dracut, America and Canada.
Phyllis died shortly after Xavier. She left all her the profits of her pickles to Earl, the young hooligan who threw Fruit Smack balloons at her house, to show gratitude for his malicious yet fateful act in 1933. Earl went on to set up the Phyllis Pickle Scholarship at the University of Mass. at Lowell for any deserving kids from the shanties of Dracut.
Junky House today is the sight of the New England Pickleogical Society.
When you bite into a KOOL AID PICKLE, remember Phyllis and Xavier.
